jalan tutup mata...

Assalam... lama tak mencoret disini... well... too much things happen that I can't get a hold of myself n I fall... really hard and can't get back to my feet... till now still... I'm looking for some strength to start fighting again...
      org ckp mudah... bangunlah, masa tak menunggu... well wait till u are the one that fall n no longer on ur knees but on the ground... crush n crumble like an apple pie... then u know n u won't said anything as much as before...
      I lose too much... in a short period... u will say... everyone will face a phase where they lose everything they have, so what's the big deal?... the big deal is I lose what I'm trying my best to hold onto.. in a very short period... that now I don't feel like holding on onto anything... I just wanna walk this path and leave.. one day I will leave too so what's the big deal?
      I'm nobody back then... and will become nobody in the future too... me try to convince everyone I meet to stay is just too much... my heart wasn't that strong... so now I just wanna stop hoping... dreaming... wishing... n just walk this road... just walk past it... that when I go... like I always said... I won't come back...
   

don't love me when I've already giving up... It's tiring trying to love u back all over again.. really... 

so when I leave... I just wanna find new place... meet new people.. have new experience...and then leave again like before... no string... no tide... it's better be that way isn't it? u don't have too much heart to be taken care of... just u... and some people around u...
       jadi di jalan ini... kali ini... biar aku jalan tutup mata... dengar dengan telinga... dan bernafas perlahan tanpa sesak seperti biasa... aku merasa sendiri... mungkin itu lebih baik... dari aku hidup dalam sesak kemahuanmu...
      aku tak tahu bila dan bagaimana mungkin aku muat dalam dunia yg serba luas ini... muat dalam kumpulan gosipmu... muat dalam ruang hatimu... muat dalam kotak pemikiranmu... pernah tak ada aku ketika kau senang dgn tawamu? pernah tak ada aku ketika kau peroleh nikmat harianmu?
      atau wujud aku ketika kau perlu tempat utk bersuara kerisauan hati kau? wujudnya aku cuma ketika kau mahu lari dari penjara duniamu... dan kau lupa tentang penjara aku... lupa, bukan begitu? hahaha... aku dah penat takung air mata... bahkan mengalirkannya juga sudah lupa bagaimana... jadi bila kau sendiri yg memaksa aku pergi... aku pergi...
      harapan utk aku kembali? entah... bila hati sudah tak beku lagi seperti kini... dia sudah terima terlalu bnyk hentakan... hingga kerasnya aku tak pasti sekeras mana...

I've got fire for a heart
I'm not scared of the dark

     so I don't care walking in that darkness... I'm just afraid that when u come looking for me... n u didn't found me n u stuck in that darkness where I won't come to save u like I always do anymore... I won't... so go to ur light n left me alone in this darkness... this is my world... my world...

"Drag Me Down"

I've got fire for a heart

I'm not scared of the dark

You've never seen it look so easy

I got a river for a soul

And YOU're a boat

YOU're my only reason

If I didn't have YOU there would be nothing left

The shell of a man who could never be his best

If I didn't have YOU, I'd never see the sun

YOU taught me how to be someone, yeah

All my life

YOU stood by me

When no one else was ever behind me

All these lights

They can't blind me

With YOUR love, nobody can drag me down

Nobody, nobody

Nobody can drag me down

Nobody, nobody

Nobody can drag me down