he's someone I'm curious bout... since the day I met him... it was long time ago... well first impression on him is... he looks like Korean artist that I like... hehehe.. :P :P (tlg jgn bace ye abg... tlg laa >///< ... but I want u to read so u can explain to me... hhmm aaahhh... do what ever u wish please... huhuhu ) sambung2... okay... first impression he's someone looks like yoseob (which my friend deny) hahaha... n heard lot of talks bout him that he is someone arrogant, hot temper... but I don't know why my heart kinda don't believe it... so I try to get know most of the oc... (woh that's a hint) and end up found his blog... (I don't remember how) I found out his name... his fb... well n that he's someone's (that time)... usually when someone i'm curious about belongs to someone else, I would give up as soon as I know... but this guy... something... just something pull me even stronger to get to know him... (what on earth is happening? 0_0 ) .. so explain this to me...
and so I keep continuing reading his blog... n such etc... hehehe (kantoi teruk la kalu bg tau ape aku tau pasal dia... hangus nnt... XP ) (sekarang pun mcm dh hangus jeee...) n most of his post change my perspective... n all the talks that I heard about him .. I ignore it... well accept the one that he has many many many fans... haaa hahahaha... and then I found daisy... well.. not only found but fell... (hahaha no i'm not hurt... daisy is a good memories.. accept the pain that I put him into because of my greed.. i'm sorry daisy...) n the time I read bout MR Y (let's just use this so that no one get into trouble... especially me) n that time he wrote bout their relationship... he's happy... n so I feel happy too... (again explain this to me... that if he is nobody to me why do I feel happy when he feels happy? even if the reason of his happiness is someone else..) n my interest in him keep growing... like a tree... n I don't know what am I curious bout... but can't stop reading bout him... (oohh I think I'm mad...)
then his story start to face conflicts ... n he told me how trouble he is to endure the pain... n my heart feels something... that I starts to get worried bout him... why? can u tell me why? the pain that he wrote... the sadness that was expressed through his words... reach me... how? o.O n why did this heart beat so much to the pain as if that pain was mine... I don't understand...
and reading his up and down in life makes me respect him... he might not realize it... that he thought of giving up but in the end he keep trying his best... or did he realize it? n lately, I heard that his heart broken and... that moment my heart push me to a limit that I in the end met him... (my dear heart... why did u do that?) my heart just can't stand knowing that he's hurt n just sitting doing nothing... why? tell my heart what's happening to u? till now ... each time I know that he's hurt... my heart feels the pain too... why?
dear reader... have I gone mad? ( I just got my heart broken too... but why instead of feeling my own pain... I feel his more?? ) I just thought that my heart mess up with my mind ... a mess up between respect n love... I don't know... I really don't know... can u please tell me? that if I only respect him... why did my heart care so much? I don't care who's with him... as long as he's happy.. but now that I'm scared he'll get hurt again... I just feel like.... I should try to make him happy... (wow.. that's kinda too much of me isn't it?) but can't help myself from trying to stop him hurting himself... aaaahhh... i've gone mad... (crying...T_T hukhukhuk... I think I need a rest... a long rest... )
kuro if u're reading please explain to me... wwwuuuu...
ah... my friends know that I've got rejected again hahaha... n so they mad n tell me not to have any crush anymore... kuikuikui... sorry... but this maybe the last... I told myself that... I've had enough...
oh pasal borg baitul muslim tuh... entah... rase x sedia nk isi lg... mungkin betul ckp MR Y .. well it's about him but I just realize it too... mungkin sbb kita belum sedia NIA(talking to myself), sbb tuh Allah tak hntr lg jodoh tuh... Allah lebih tahu sama ada kita sedia ataupun tak... walaupun kita rasa diri kita dah sedia... dan org sekeliling pun rasa yg sama... Dia lebih tahu... so yeah... nnt2 aku isi...
hahaha bg tau mama pasal borg cari jodoh tuh mama tnya "punyalah banyk lelaki kat uitm tuh satu pun x suke ke? " hahahaha aku nk je jwb "mama bkn anak mama tak suka... diorg yg x suka anak mama hahahahaha" kalu bg tau mcm tuh aku rase esok jgk akak aku tarik calon marii... masak aku... so yeah... aku tunggu aku sendiri ready.. but still by the end of this sem... mungkin aku akn isi borg tuh utk realisasikan impian mama n akak yg nk aku kawen before 25... hahaha ok la tuh... isi hujung sem... ade jodoh tahun dpn dpt... hahaha (mcm beli brg online scaryyy...) hahaha
apa2 pun terserah pada Yg Haq... itu hak Dia keatas aku... utk masa sekarang aku cuma perlu atasi masalah aku sekarang... berusaha utk masa depan... I used to stop trying my best because they said that guy don't like a girl that working too hard... they scared that they lose her... then I realize...
they said man scared an intelligent woman... well real man won't... they try to endure them...so my cute guy... when u're done with ur jobs.. come.. I'll be waiting... I won't approch anyone anymore... u will need to come to me.. sorry for troubling u... I don't wanna pick a false triumph card anymore... I'm tired... really tired...
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