permintaan hati

     utk yg kesekian kalinya ku biarkan permintaan hati ini kosong tidak tertunai... kadang kala bila di manjakn selalu hati ini dia akan mula meminta yg bukan haknya.. aku seharusnya sedar aku disini bukan sekadar menikmati sebuah kisah yg bernama kehidupan tapi menjalani misi yg perlu dilaksanakan... jiwa ini sudah penat merasakan kesakitan permintaan hati yg tidak berkesudahan... maaf jiwa.. kerana hati kau sengsara.. kerana terlalu mengikuti permintaan hati kau menderita.. aku bersalah.. aku bersalah... apa yg harus aku lakukan?
      kosong... kosong.. terlalu kosong.. jiwa ini.. terlalu kosong.. maybe it's the right time to move on... i don't hate you and yesss still loving you...if you wanna know the truth but i can't always listen to what this heart want because she's too spoiled... i can't let that happen.. never...

     aku adalah pemegang tanggungjawab paling besar.. aku pemegang impian paling besar.. dan aku adalah harapan paling besar.. hahaha rasa kelakar hambar bila aku anak perempuan kedua yg seharusnya relaks dan boleh santai2 memegang tanggungjawab seperti anak pertama dan lebih lagi bagaikan anak lelaki sulung.. why? hhmmm coz my sister on her way to marriage and my lil brother.. hhmm don't know.. maybe he will find his on way in life.. so abah put all his dream on me... asked me to further study until master before start working or anything else..(marriage maybe) but mama ask me to find someone already.. (what??) which one should i fulfil?? but what abah said make me feel better "jodoh itu hak Allah. berusaha yg termampu dan Allah akan berikan apa yg bersesuaian dgnmu"
     and to tell the world .. i love my parents so much i never want them to have this feeling again by the time i can work on my own... what feeling?? always trouble because of money... everywhere.. everytime.. it's all about money.. and because of that i need to work hard .. harder.. and harder...

    and i can't let this unsure love make me fall.. i love you.. and because i love you i need to work harder too.. to show you that i wanna be like you (aarrgghh this feeling drive me crazy... love you but can't be true to myself...) why? if this heart really wanna tell you how much she love you then yeah.. i'm telling you now.. i love you.. i love you... and i love you.. don't know why.. no matter how many guys come in my life.. when i feel alone.. you're the one in my mind.. same goes when my heart beating faster.. when i walk pass the old place where we used to be together..
     but if i shout i miss you what can i do? love at one sided won't work.. will never work.. so i can't only wait for it.. i'll try to find my own path.. and we work our own life.. when the right time come.. and if you're for me.. it would be the most happy time of my life.. and i'll try to be the best for you... but if you're not the one.. then i'll accept who ever comes.. and i hope you get the best one for you... dan saya ikhlaskan segalanya.. mungkin disebalik kehilangan itu ada kebaikan yg tersimpan hikmahnya tersendiri...
    i forgotten that you... yess you.. have your own wings.. and me too.. so let fly high.. futher.. and futher.. and i want you to show me the one you used to show before.. tough, cute, nice, warm, sweet, and responsible man that i want to copy... ^_____^

sincerely to my dear cute daisy...  1437

i only love one person for one long time.. until they said ' i'm not available.. ' so do tell me straightly so i can simply give up on you... and we won't lose our friendship.. i think i can promise that...